29.11.2008.

A few friends have for a while now insisted that I write a book. I desisted. I am a storyteller – Yes. But I’m no novelist. I am writing my autobiography – a word at a time as I live through life a moment at a time. I do not construct my characters. I’ve seen them. So I sketch them carefully, penciling in minute details. … erasing some, I build up the plot, pregnant with humour overlaying an abyss of emotions. I compose music as though the soul of my narration. I freeze frames in black and white – turning them into eternity. I allow explosions of colour to splatter my canvas. I let my imagination defy shackles of reality and run the veldts. With time my characters come alive and develop into subplots. The explosive colours turn into aesthetic kaleidoscopes. The future appears as sequel to the omniscient narrator who becomes the eponymous hero and perhaps an auteur. My eyes glitter with the possibility of an end neatly tied up and satisfactory.

28.11.2008.

At home for four months - the call of the running tide becomes irresistible with every passing moment. The challenge of the seas, the romance of the wild, the blowing North Wind carries the spirit of Neptune beckoning the sailor in me to unknown waters.

I have not written much in the past two or three months. My attempts to spew ink legibly ended up in ungainly blotches. However a few memorable incidents did occur which are worthy of mention. Since my syntax is not quite what it usually is, I decided to write it verbatim on an 'as was, there was' (that's past tense for 'as is where is') format.

• A pretty young thing asked me -

'So what have you been doing these four months?'

Moi - 'Ummm I was indulging profound thought.'

Pretty young thing - 'Thats interesting. What did you gain from it?'

Moi - 'Uh lets see ... ummm about 7 pounds.'

• Intercepted conversation between my Mother & an elderly relative -

Elderly relative - 'Why dont you arrange a marriage for him before he ends up making a wrong choice ?

Mother (mine not Maxim's) - 'I'm not worried about that. So far he has made me extremely proud with his choice of women. I didnt approve of a single one. And he didnt successfully marry any of them.'

The secret optimist in me laughed silly, despite being unsure about which way the humour was flowing.

• While attending a RADAR Ops refresher course -

Lecturer (A senior sea Capt.) - 'Your target is 400 nautical miles away. Your RADAR range is 200 nautical miles. What do you do ?

A hand shoots up from the back of the class - 'Shoot it twice Sir.'

I spent the subsequent 30 minutes wafting through empty corridors of our marine college.

A rather nostalgic drift.

• An old friend on my love life -

'So you have been falling in and out of love eh ... ?'

I - 'I find the word 'fall' derogatory. Love was or ummm... is like a revolving door. Move in & out sounds more effortless... no ???'

• An energetic female voice from HSBC bank -

'Sir we have received your request for a duplicate card but we cannot process your request since you have not mentioned if the previous card is lost or damaged.'

Alarmed (I had forwarded no such request) I put her on hold, call my Mother, who after checking confirms that my card is very much at home.

I (Unholding her...pun) - 'Well you see it isnt damaged and certainly not lost. It was stolen about a month back.

Frantic sounding voice - 'Sir you must immediately report it as stolen & block it.'

I (Beholding her ... pun) - 'No I dont want to do that.'

Puzzled voice - 'Sir but why ?'

I - 'The thief you see is actually spending a lot less than my wife.'